FINDING YOUR PURPOSE

How do I find my purpose through my pain In the previous article, I shared something about how if we don't consciously pursue our purpose (deepest soul desire) we will do it anyway, but unconsciously and usually in a negative way, with the example of using drugs as a way of feeling spiritual connection. There are many examples and we will see some of them so you can understand this on a deep level and then we'll talk about how to identify your purpose using the same method. Let's again remember that our purpose is: something we chose, something we love, something we want, something we need, something we yearn for and it is an energy, not a specific thing. So let's say someone has the purpose of experiencing passion. But they are not aware of this, meaning, they feel passion-related desires, but for some reason (suppression, fear, self judgement, external influences, etc) they do not consciously pursue it. So they will unconsciously pursue it, because it's such a deep desire, that we will try somehow to experience it. So this person starts to get into extremely chaotic relationships. They might even manifest very violent partners that might hurt or even kill them. Because they were searching for the feeling of passion, of intensity, but didn't know how to pursue that on a conscious, beneficial way. Our purpose isn't something we want and came here to do for no reason. It's something that, because we are all one, reverberates universally, so it fulfills me but it also touches, helps, changes, etc, other people. Always. Why? Because we are all one, we intrinsically desire to help others, because we know on a very deep, unconscious level that we are everything and everyone. So this person could actually pursue this desire by being a motivational speaker, very passionate, very intense, that ignited transformation in others. They could be a musician, you need a lot of intensity to be an artistic. An actor, you need a lot of intensity and passion as well. See how they had many amazing ways but out of unconsciousness they diverted? Everything we do or seek compulsively is directly linked to our purpose. We identify that doing a deep analysis. Because it's not everyone who uses drugs that have the purpose of spiritual connection, or everyone who has chaotic relationships has the purpose of passion. This manifests differently. And we identify that by identifying the feelings we're seeking. For example, you have food compulsion. Ask yourself, how do I feel when I indulge in this? It can be millions of things, depending on the person. Some may say "I feel complete", "I feel pleasure", "I feel relief", "I distract myself with it", "I feel safe", "I feel out of control". Some of these might sound strange, but if you look into it, they make sense for the individual. Someone who seeks freedom, but suppress themselves, eat to have that sensation of freedom, of doing whatever they want. Someone who seeks dissociation eats to distract themselves, to take themselves out of this reality. Someone who seeks peace, binge eats when they feel stressed to reach a sensation of relief and peace, someone who seeks wholeness, eats to feel fulfilled, someone who feels vulnerable, eats to feel safe (fat is a layer of protection). Someone who has *trigger warning* the opposite of it and puts food out of their body compulsively, might seek control, they purge to feel under control. Someone who is compulsive over aesthetics, might seek different things as well. Some people feel "satisfied", others feel "In control (things look exactly as I want them to look), others feel "beautiful". The sensation we're after will tell you what is our purpose, because we are compulsively seeking it out. Once you pursue your purpose consciously, these compulsions actually go away. Because you are already fulfilling yourself in another way, more beneficial, so your subconscious doesn't have to force you to do it in anyway. It's a bit confusing if you're not familiar with shadow work, because at first things seem very paradoxical. "Well, of course I eat because it's pleasurable", yes, that's the general feeling everybody seeks. But once you start going deeper, you will realize that this might not be the reason why you do it (binge eat in this example). For example, I had this problem, and my best friend had it too. Yes, food is pleasurable. But doing this inner work, we found that I was seeking distraction and she was seeking relief. Different things, same compulsion. I also help you identify this, in case you feel like working with me, but that's basically how you do it and everyone can identify this. So let's say you found out that most, if not all, of your compulsions represent the search for control. This is a very common one, but this actually represents something else. If you seek control compulsively, you are most likely trying to experience being a conscious manifestor. Because that is ultimately what control is. A desire to create, to have control over. You cannot seek this by becoming OCDish about life, which leads to anxiety (most people who suffer from anxiety have this desire for control). What you need to do is find ways in which you can create things that allow you to have full control over them. Learning how to lucid dream is a major tool to fulfill this. Because in dreams, we can learn how to control it and by consequence, you learn how to control your physical reality as well. It is not wrong to desire control, but it can, and it usually is, poorly managed and we develop negative habits. We need to remember as well that yes, everybody desires control in some level, but it's only relevant for you if this is a compulsion. Not everyone is compulsive about control. You need to see if this is truly a very active and compulsory desire or not. Make a list of all of your compulsions, that can be compulsive behaviors and also desires, such as: the habit of binge eating (behavior), external validation (desire). Compulsion is simply everything you have an addiction to. Not only drinking and drugs, but anything that you are addicted to in some level. Then, ask yourself what feeling or experience are you seeking when you indulge in these? And how can you find ways to fulfill this purpose and desire in a constructive, beneficial way? I hope this was helpful, love you so much, remember to always be your unique self, we need you. If you want to work with me, links are all here:

https://msha.ke/cadsparks/