It only feels good because everything else feels bad.
We weren't supposed to live like this. The way human kind has allowed itself to become entrapped by a poorly constructed society is in no way how we are meant to live. Obviously, I mean people are all kinds of screwed up. Most of us cannot function in this society in a healthy and joyful way.
It's heavy. Having a job, affording life, the impending doom of the dangers of this world, the void that keeps getting darker and darker, deeper and deeper. Your creative energy that keeps getting supressed more and more each day because, well, "gotta cash that" and if it ain't profitable, then why bother?
And so we're all looking for relief. Literally that's what the majority of people are doing. Everything they crave, desire and go after is relief. We just want to feel relief. From the weight of living, the pressure of making it in this life, the hurt we don't know how to heal, the body we struggle to maintain, the unfulfilled desires, the fears we can't get over.
So sex, drugs, food, social media, entertainment, art, exercise, daydreaming, romance...Everything became a source of dissociation, of relief. An attempt to escape, even if just for a few seconds, the responsibility of life.
Think about nothingness. The blissful space of nothing. Just you...Being. No pressure of choice, no fears, no past, no future, just eternal beingness in the eternal nothingness.
When you're in that moment of physical union and it feels good and suddenly nothing matters anymore. Even if just for awhile. It's nothingness. It's you...Free to feel, safe to surrender.
Or when you're watching your comfort show, eating your favorite meal, dancing, daydreaming, etc. It all generates the same feeling of nothingness. Numbing the pain and heightening the pleasure. All responsibility is gone and you're free for awhile.
We want this feeling to stay.
And so we unconsciously search for it in the form of a (seemingly) permanent, visceral experience: love.
We want somebody to fill us up. So much so that everything else, all the bad, all the pain, stops being so relevant. We want a drug lover to numb it all away. Like the idea of "nothing matters as long as I have you"; "as long as you love me, we could be starving, we could be broke" (brilliantly put by JB).
We want to love so intensely that we become fearless. Nothing matters but our lover, the connection we have, the way they make us feel. The job you hate? The toxic parents? The chronic illness? The lack of money? The fear of death, the fear of never accomplishing anything? It doesn't matter anymore. Lover fills you up so much that everything else is just background noise.
Sounds familiar?
It's because you've seen it or perhaps even experienced it: drug addiction.
interesting how I've heard multiple heroin users saying the exact same thing about their drug of choice: "feels like a warm blanket all around you". It's all good now, it's all fine. It's all gone.
Euphoric love isn't love. It's your nervous system firing up, triggered by some association you've made unconsciously.
You felt something, it felt good, somebody was around when that happened...Boom, association: 'good feeling=this person'. And then you become addicted, you crave it, you hallucinate a reality where this poor individual is now the leading character of your cheap, cliché, Twiligh-esque novel.
Which um, literally? Bella Swan has all the signs of clinical depression, yet instead of dealing she finds herself a mandrug. And because it's fictional there's no flaws. He loves her as much as she loves him and oh the issues of life, such as money, beauty or death? All gone because oh what you know? He's a rich and gorgeous, immortal vamp. Oh wow, perfect. Yay, all issues in life solved. Yay, love me until everything else is gone. Bella states this and there's this feeling throughout the whole series...The feeling of "we're all that matters, this love is all that matters, everything else faded away". How she gives up her life to be with him, how she couldn't care less about having friends, or a life outside of Edward. And how we swooned over that.
We're all searching for that deep breath of relief. Release, liberation. We just want to be, we don't want to live in the way we're living. We want freedom, we want to feel safe to just be and enjoy and breathe in peace. Like wild animals, free to just wander around and be. No pressure of life in society.
We like to think we've developed and advanced, but oh my, have we not.
Euphoric love is actually your internal heroin. You want to feel the warm blanket around your life, you want to sink into surrender. But we've become so divided that we cannot see how it's all within us already. We associate everything with something external from us, but it's not.
Once you understand that, on a deep, experiential level, you find the inner Lover. Then you stop projecting and expecting so much from others. They become who they truly are, you start to love them, truly this time, because you're not creating false ideas of who they should be. Because you don't need to. You are already filled up by your own Lover, there's no need to place people in that role anymore. You are free.